Would Be Secret Assassin Accidentally Outed by His Mom

Ok, all of you who are still cringing about a really stupid love letter or stupid weepy unrequited love letter that you wrote when you were a teenage pumped up with more hormones than the entire lineup of WWE, you can now relax. There's nothing you can do that'll even hold a candle to a Connecticut man who threatened his third grade crush with a grisly death in a secret letter signed "Death Stalker".

The full text of the letter is online. It's some pretty sick shit. The man is seriously creepy. He's got that part of the mad criminal element down pat. Unfortunately for Mr. D. Stalker, being creepy doesn't improve your IQ. He still lived at home with mom and dad so he left the letters out for his mom to mail. Being the supportive and helpful mother she is, she noticed that he forgot to write his return address on it and fixed Jr's apparent postal goof for him.

ConnPost.com: Stalker with deadly 'crush' pleads guilty